I turned 22 years old yesterday.
To be honest. I am glad that I made it to be 22. There were many times when I didn’t think that I would make it this far because of events in my life, but I did make it. I look back and think, why did I ever want to end my life so soon? Was I really in that bad of a place? At the current moment, my life is nowhere near better and I am still struggling with depression, but I am learning how to cope with it all in a much healthier way. I am not saying that I don’t think about self harm or suicide, but I am learning to put it in the back of my mind and trying to move forward.
I have learned to accept that there is hope for everyone, including me. I now know that I have to think more positive if I want to make it anywhere. Negativity will only hold me back and that was what was happening to me this whole time. I would always let negative thoughts control my mind and I would convince myself that there was nothing good to look forward to. It was all my mindset, which hasn’t always been the best one.
I might not be where I want to be, but that’s life. Nothing is ever going to go according to plan and we just have to learn to roll with the punches. Life is always going to give us things that we can’t handle or something that might hurt us, but we can try to learn from those occurrences.
I know I’ve only been on this planet for 22 years and there is still so much more that is going to be thrown at me. I’m always going to have struggles, the only thing is that I am going to have to overcome them in any way that I can and keep my head up.
Relapses and stresses are bound to happen, but it is up to me to know what to do when those times arise. It is time to move onward. I know I’m nowhere near getting better and I know that I’m still going to suffer from my problems, but I am at least trying to have a better perspective.