So I rarely talk about crushes and guys on here, but it looks like I will be writing a little about that.
There’s this guy. Don’t all crush stories begin that way? Anyways. There really is this guy and I have known him for three and a half years, going on four. I met him during freshman orientation.
I had just gotten out of high school and was attending a summer program for incoming freshman. One day, I was sitting near the food court area watching the Lakers playoff game. As I always am, I was sitting alone and minding my own business. Out of nowhere this guy shows up next to me and starts talking to me. He was there for orientation and did not know anyone either. He noticed that I was a Lakers fan and that’s how we found out that we were both from California. We also talked a little about what we wanted to study and what we wanted to be. He was actually very interesting. I even surprised myself that I was talking to him because I rarely talk to other people especially a guy.
I was living on campus for the summer program so he assumed that I knew my way around campus. I did not. It had only been my first week there, but I helped him as much as I could. I directed him to the dorms where he would be staying and after walking together for a bit, we departed from one another and that was it. I thought I would never see this guy again after that night and that we would never actually become friends.
I was wrong.
Freshman year began that fall and even though I had gone to a summer program to help with the transition, I was still scared. You would think that I made friends during the program, but that was not the case. I had a few acquaintances, but that was all. The first couple of days I was found having dinner all by myself. It was no big deal to me because I was used to it.
One night as I was having dinner, a familiar face showed up. I didn’t even notice who it was at first because there was so many people walking around. At first I thought he was just a passerby, but he wasn’t because he stopped in front of my table and just stared. It was him. The same guy I had met just once earlier that summer. We then had dinner together and talked for quite some time.
From that dinner on, we became really good friends and had more dinners together. This guy that I thought I would never see again after orientation had suddenly become my friend and we were spending time together. I had actually made a friend at school and I was happy because I knew it was rare, at least for me.
To this day we are still good friends. We are both on our fourth year of school and still hang out. We have become so close that we talk to one another about anything and everything. We have such a great friendship that I don’t want to risk it.
Over the years I might have developed a slight crush on him. Maybe it’s because of his good looks and personality, or maybe it’s just because he’s the only guy who has ever payed even the slightest attention to me since moving. Sometimes I strongly believe it’s the latter.
I have never been the prettiest, eye catching girl so when this happened, it was different. I am not used to it one bit. My self esteem is low and I do not think highly of myself at all.
I don’t want to think that the only reason I might like him is because he pays attention to me because he really is a nice guy with a great personality. He’s fun to be around and he’s an all around good guy, but I don’t want to jeopardize what we have at the moment. Besides, we are both different. He’s really outgoing, fun, and not shy, but I am shy. Maybe not around him, but around other people yes. I don’t think my shyness would suit him, it might just hold him back and I don’t want to be responsible for that. I don’t want to be the one to cramp his style, so to say.
He has a bunch of friends and I don’t have as many. There is times when he’ll invite me to go out with him and his friends, but I feel like I impose. Sometimes I think he does it just because he feels bad for me, not because he actually wants me there. I don’t know.
He was the first person I met at this school and the only one who has still kept in touch this whole time. We both have helped each other through everything dealing with school ever since. We get along really well, have some things in common, and enjoy each others company. I’m pretty sure he knows where he stands in this friendship, but I get inside my head a lot. Maybe its best if we just stick friends. That’s where everything works best and where we belong with each other, nowhere else.
It’s complicated, but this has been rolling around in my head lately.